How to Stay in Relation through Disagreement

Across the world, rifts are showing in families, circles of friends, work teams, and more. There are polarized views on political and social issues that seem unbridgeable. The pandemic is one of them, as is the issue of climate change. Here is what Thomas says about it:

“Check in on your experience, how close or how distant do you feel to a group of people, or to one person you don’t agree with? We can have a strong disagreement with somebody and still be in relation. Contrasting viewpoints do not mean that I have to disconnect from the experience of the other. Re-traumatization happens in the disconnect from the experience, not in the disagreement of how we see life.

It is not WHAT we talk about that is painful, it is HOW we talk with each other. The relational experience is a key factor in data transfer, and relation is a data connection. If I talk to somebody from a distance how can I expect that the person will listen to me when I don’t even feel her or him? But if I am able to be with somebody that I disagree with in a kind of closeness, then whatever I bring in the room has at least the highest potential of alchemical power.”

Watch the short 6-minute video: